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this year will be different! my new years resolutions...

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January 01, 2021

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if i ever get skinny...will i be too old to be pretty?

April 02, 2021

if I ever get skinny, will I be too old? I’m 21 almost 22 in a week and if it takes me 4 years to get there will it even be worth it? If I’m queer and I’m not after the Herero gaze does it even matter? Is this just because I’m trans or am I trans because I’m eating disordered. Do I want to d*e? is this worth it even if I’m old?

i don't think im ready to be an adult, so maybe ill just diet to feel safe?

December 31, 2016

my childhood is a blur, but maybe that's just part of growing up. i think dieting will always make me feel safe...like a child...but isn't it kind of fucked up that my earliest memories are of disordered eating habits and crying in changing rooms? idk honestly, i don't feel great when i restrict and go on pro-an* blogs, but they're so intertwined with my past they feel nostalgic.